98C9A24E-BEA4-46D9-93C7-56BFB1D914F5 What is “frame control”?    A person with frame control is comfortable looking at you in your eyes, they are comfortable in themselves. Everyone looks at the world differently.  Reality is subjective.   However one can have a tighter hold on it in multiple circumstances or most circumstances.  There are those people who are always afraid of Going places they have never been or doing things they have never done.  Also there are people who have progressed a lot in life and are not afraid to take on new challenges.  They think “I can figure this out”. For example if a dog or child is in danger or needs help they look to the adult.  They look for them.  They search their faces for help.  Their capture on reality is less.  They know the adult has a tighter hold on reality/can control the world more.  They don’t think about this, their brain tells them.  Same with any conversation or interaction.  There is always a person in a group who “controls the frame”.   Frame meaning frame of reality.  People can find this person in a few secs or mins.  This person or people look calm or they act in a certain way, maybe over time they got like this.  Sometimes great level of skill.  No fear In a certain environment.  

Some examples:  A small dog looking at a human who has food and whining for the food-  the human has frame control

A huge dog with massive teeth loudly growling with white foam and drooling ready to tear the guy apart and a human standing in front with food in his hand—The dog has frame control 

A salesman at a customers house convincing them to buy the new item for a good price.  The customer keeps saying they don’t need the item-the salesman is sweating and needs the sale-customer has frame control 

A salesman at a customers house convincing them to buy the item.  The customer is interested and asking a lot of questions about the item.  The salesmen is very successful and has a lot of money saved.  The salesmen is looking at his watch, he doesnt need the sale and he wants to go home—the salesmen has frame control 

The girl is sitting down and guy approaches, guy keeps telling her she’s cute.  She says go away-girl has frame control.  

Employee and boss in a meeting, employee is best employee company ever had.  Produces 5x more work than anyone.  Gets paid 2.5 x as much as other employee.  Employee says I am valuable, I like it here and want a raise.  I want to make you more and grow as well-employee has frame control 

Employee and boss in a meeting, employee is worst worker, says I need a raise-boss has frame control 

All situations are of value situations.  Who’s more valuable in each case and what’s the possible outcome of each. Frame control is upper hand. If The one with Lower hand strikes, very likely to lose.  Sometimes In very tiny possibility case, The one with the lower hand strikes and appears confident as well and wins.  This is called “fools mate”, isn’t advised. 

The man with the gun always controls the frame unless the man opposite is not afraid of dying, then the man with the gun won’t get the feeling of satisfaction he desires.  

The man of less self worth never controls the frame unless he has something of value up his sleeve.

The man with the highest self worth always controls the frame unless he doesn’t want what controlling the frame brings.

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